


last chance

by softambrollins



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 01:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16965129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: "Roman? Who cares?"Seth tracks down Dean after his TLC match on RAW.





	last chance

**Author's Note:**

> Post-RAW December 10th.
> 
> There's a bit of Roman talk in this, not going into too much detail or anything, but if that bothers you, you probably shouldn't read this.

Seth's just come out of the trainer's room into the hallway when he happens to spot the tail of a familiar brown jacket disappearing around the corner. He can't stop himself from following after him. Maybe his decision making tonight hasn't been the best. Later he'll blame this on the beating he just took, maybe one too many knocks to the head.

When he finally catches up to Dean, he can feel him trying to speed up and get away from him. He probably already knows exactly who it is. Dean's been lurking around all night, Seth knows, but he hasn't made his presence known, hasn't deliberately tried to rile him up or anything, and then there was after the main event when he'd just stood there and _stared_ at him. Before just walking away, without even trying anything. Something's up with him. He's different tonight. Even his eyes — the last couple weeks they've been cold and empty, except for when he let pure anger and violence overtake them. But tonight they were almost tired, wistful — _sad_. He wonders what happened to make him look like that. 

"Hey, come on," he says when he gets close enough to him, trying to goad him into responding. "That's it? You're not even gonna say anything to me?" 

Dean finally stops, his back still to him, his head lowered. He raises a hand to his face, pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a breath, like he's steadying himself, before turning to face him. 

"The hell do you want, Rollins?" he asks, voice gruff. "Don't you have some babies to kiss or something?" He's not even looking at him, though. His eyes are still troubled and distant.

Seth has to raise an eyebrow at that. "Really? That the best you got? Almost sounds like your heart's not in it anymore, man," he says, almost regretfully.

Seth sees his jaw clench, face twisting with fury. He can almost feel the pure and utter rage vibrating under his skin. "Can everyone just — _stop_ trying to fucking tell me what I _feel_." 

He says _feel_ like it's a dirty word, like it tastes bad on his tongue. 

Seth moves closer, eyes narrowing in genuine concern now. 

"What happened to you, Dean?" he asks soberly. "Why are you so angry?" 

Dean just lets out a bitter laugh. "So _now_ you care. Now when it suits _you_ and what _you_ want. The fact that you even have to ask that — _that's_ why I'm fucking angry, Seth." 

"Okay, okay, I get it —" Seth starts.

"You don't fucking _get_ it, Seth. You're too busy with your little revolution and trying to make Raw great again. Why do you even care, Seth?" he says scornfully. "You're the champion. You should be happy that Lesnar's not here to steal your spotlight —" 

"You know why I care, Dean?" Seth bursts out before he can stop himself. "Because this is all I have. Because you took _everything else_ from me."

"Me? I took everything from _you_?" Dean asks incredulously, looking like he's actually ready to punch him now.

But Seth's not backing down this time. Dean has to hear it. Or maybe he just needs to _say_ it. Maybe this is his last chance.

"Yeah. You took _this_ from me," he says, gesturing emphatically between them. "After everything I did to get it back. And I can't even think about Roman now, I can't even let myself feel sad that he's not here, because all I do is think about _you_. And I feel like I'm not even allowed to miss him. As fucked-up as that is. All because I'm _always_ gonna be the guy who broke this in the first place."

Dean just gets so, so quiet. He averts his gaze for a moment and then looks back up at him, his eyes looking just as haunted and exhausted as they were before. 

Seth just lets out a heavy sigh. "I can't keep doing this, Dean," he says, shaking his head. "If you're never going to forgive me —" 

"It's not about that," Dean tells him, voice hushed but sure. 

"Well, what's it about then?" Seth asks, feeling more desperate now than he ever has.

"It's about both of us," Dean says evenly. "Every time we think we're even _close_ to being happy, it gets ripped away again. Maybe we're just too fucked-up. Maybe we don't deserve it. It's just not meant to be."

Seth just stares at him for a long moment. Dean sounds like he believes every word he's saying. And he can't say he doesn't understand why he's feeling like this. There was a time Seth felt the same, like maybe they were doomed, maybe they'd never get back what they had. But Seth also knows all the pure and utter joy he's felt over the years, with Roman and with Dean. They're his family. That's not a lie. And that has to be worth it.

"It's not your fault, Dean," he tells him, reaching out to lightly touch his fingers to Dean's hand, making him look him in the eyes.

Dean doesn't pull away from him. He just looks absolutely lost and distraught.

"I don't know. I don't know, maybe it's easier to blame myself than to think the universe is that fucked-up. That nothing makes any fucking sense, it's all just random, meaningless chaos —" He cuts himself off with a frustrated, broken sound. 

"Have you talked to him?" Seth asks gently, because he thinks maybe he can now. 

"He's called a few times. But I couldn't answer. I just — I can't do it —" Dean says, grimacing, his voice starting to break. He swallows hard. "What did he say to you?" 

"He's worried," Seth says simply. "Said you need a good kick up the ass. Also said I shouldn't give up on you."

They just stand there for a moment in silence, Dean staring at the floor, Seth just staying close, still touching him, as long as he'll let him.

"You think he'll ever forgive me?" Dean eventually murmurs after a while.

Seth nods. "Yeah, if you ask him to. You're his family." Sometimes, it really is that simple.

"What about you?" Dean says, hesitant now, slowly dragging his gaze back up to Seth's face.

"I don't know," he says truthfully. "Maybe someday. You forgave me. When I didn't think I'd ever deserve it."

"That wasn't as selfless as you think," Dean admits. "Maybe I liked it. Seeing you grovel. Maybe I liked feeling that important."

Seth just looks at him, stunned, like he's been slapped.

Dean finally pulls away from him, and Seth sees the look on his face just _change_ dramatically, all at once, like he's slid the mask back on. 

"You should stay away from me, Seth," Dean says tersely. "After Sunday. Just stay the hell away from me."

Seth just nods at that, blinking away tears.

"For what it's worth," he tells him, because if this is really the end, then he has to say it. "I love you, Dean. I always have." 

Seth sees him react to that, just the slightest, almost imperceptible shift of his features, but he doesn't respond, just turns to go.

"Wait," Seth says, reaching out again to grab his arm and keep him there, just for one moment more. Before he lets himself think about it, he lifts his other hand up to gently rest against Dean's face and leans in to slot their lips together. Just for one second, then two. It feels like a lifetime, though. Dean doesn't kiss back, but he doesn't resist either. Just _stays_. Seth can feel his breath on his cheek, his heartbeat against his own chest.

He pulls away and just looks at him with an unreadable expression on his face. And then he turns on his heel and walks away.

Leaving him standing there.

Feeling like everything's just been ripped away from him all over again.


End file.
